Monday, June 01, 2009

"Oh you are from IIM- you must be earning in crores?"

This is the first thing I hear whenever someone hears that I am from IIM B. I do not know who I hate more - the person who pops this stupid question or the newspapers which mention all sorts of things painting a rosy picture about the IIMs.

First of all, an income of USD 100000 is not equal to f***ing Rs.50 lakhs. There are things like taxes, cost of living, purchase power parity and so on. So if some IIM grad is getting paid in foreign currency, then it is bound to appear like a huge deal when converted into Indian currency.

Believe, me, in India, you DONT get paid in crores unless you are in the board of directors of a company or some senior vice president.

Instead of converting the dollars/pounds to rupees, lets all do this. We will all go to Vietnam and convert the dollars there to the local currency Dong (present conversion is 1 USD = 17700 Dongs). So the Vietnam newspaper would report - "IIM grad gets Vietnam Dong 3 billion as salary. IIM Grads are billionaires.".

Calling us as crorepatis right now is as absurd as a Vietnamese calling an IIM grad a trillionaire.

What kind of a dumb mannerless (DM in short) idiot will you be to ask someone "Hey what is your salary?"

2 things you should never ask are, a woman her age and a man his package(we mean all packages btw). They just hate it when you do. So if you are reading this and you have already asked someone his/her salary, then you are a dumb mannerless idiot. If you havent, then dont be one.

Ok, now to the more interesting thing.

Ever since the recession started, all the people I meet seem to get some sadistic pleasure in popping the same "DM question" to me. They hope against all hope that I will cut a sorry puppy dog face and complain that this year the placement season was bad and that I landed up in a company where even my driver would not have joined last year. In case I reply in the same manner then they are elated. Their day is made. (remember, they are still wiping the same table but the fact that I am wiping the next table after coming out of IIM, makes them doubly happy)! What dumb mannerless sadists!

Oh man!, reminds me of a joke

It is Queen Elizabeths birthday and our dear Santa and Banta decide to take her a gift. Santa takes a bag full of coconuts and Banta takes a bag full of betel nuts. Once they reach the palace, they find that everyone has bought diamonds and gold and other jewellery as gift to the queen when our two dumbos have taken a really stupid gift. This infuriates the queen and she asks the guards to shove the nuts into their asses.

They get dragged off, and as the betel nuts are being shoved into Bantas ass, he keeps laughing. The guard is surprised and asks "Hey Banta, we are shoving these Betel nuts in your ass, and how is it that you are not in pain and are laughing?"

Banta says, "The mere thought that Santa is getting a bucket load of coconuts into his ass makes me feel so happy"
So if you are Banta - here is my reply to you

"This year also IIMs had a 100% placement record. The average salary has not gone down. The profile of the companies coming to the IIMs are different this year compared to last. However, everyone is well placed, and in very plum jobs - the kind of job your mom and dad want you to be in. So stop popping the stupid dumb ass mannerless questions and get back to work."

Jokes apart,

The times are bad. Everyone knows it. It is basic decency that you do not ask embarassing questions to a person who is already not in the place he/she would have ideally wanted to be. People eventually reach their goals - wherever they be. Please do not embarass a student from an IIM just because the times are bad. Remember, that any day, you yourself would want to study in such colleges if you had the opportunity. Before you make fun of a student from IIM - think for a moment what you would give to study in such an institution and then pass the comments.

In fact, what you are doing is really "Sour Grapes" - I do not want to sound arrogant here that I am from an IIM. However, there are so many instances in my life, where people say things like "you are from an elite institution, is this how you behave, is this how you blah, is this how you boo". We are also humans first. Secondly, we have proven our capabilities in many a sphere to be where we are. We are proud of what we are but not arrogant. If you are not where we are, then it does not make you any less special. So stop treating yourself like you are less special.

I can only speak for myself. I have met some of the most brainy people in the world at IIM B. I have worked the hardest in my 2 years there. I have put as many night outs as I have never in my life before. I have slogged so hard, that hard work is now a habit for me and for my 250 batchmates. It is not without merit that Sachin is who he is, Abdul Kalam is who he is and an IIM is what it is.

So finally, the lessons we have learnt today - in case you are one of those dumb mannerless idiot are:

1) Dont ask someone his/her salary and about how the placements were in his/her college

2) Dont laugh at someone because he/she is in the same misery as you. Instead you try to get out of your misery (you might want to think of Banta here)

3) Dont cry sour grapes


Mysorean said...

Oh man! Someone really got into your nerves! :D

It's ok CB. There are dumb people in the world. Let's live with it :) and not lose our peace of mind over it!

Kavity said...

Man! Someone's real angry! Welcome to the club :)

Lalitha said...

Can't believe someone as cool as you can get so angry.

To cool down, remember the tumbling from the chair incident while u were at ORA :)

Whoiscb said...

@All : Nah...I was not angry...just wrote it the moment someone popped the question...maybe the flow indicates I got really pissed :)

But ya, some of these people have absolutely no sense of what to speak and what not to....

Arun A said...

wow .. cant agree with you more !!! :) .. btw ellam seri ..i worked the hardest in my 2 yrs nu solli en nejai touch paniteenga :D ... and btw throw light on the tumbling from the chair incident at ora :D :D ...

Madhu Gopal said...

I can see you that are pissed off big time, but just laugh off their comments and keep working hard.. Who cares what these people think??? They are not going to affect your life in any way..

Whoiscb said...

@Madhu - aaaaaaaaaa....thathuvam

@Arun - Dei...andha matter naa onkitta phone la sollaren

Heidi said...

Spoken true, spoken well!
PS: When you were talking of brainy ppl, you were referring to me right? ;)

Abid said...

Hey Dude!

I felt kinda relieved when I read this :)

Cheers from IIMA ( for once ;) )


Nissim said...

nice blog...will link to it.

Sid said...

:) I can so relate this pissed off angst. In fact, this has been the first question for past 10 months people ask me.
And every time I also thought the same things - sadist, losers, and soon, they'll be jealous again.

Nice blog by the way... keep writing :)

Thought Reaper said...

Kudos to u for writing such a refreshing piece...
Would like to dedicate it to all the envious lot of rotten moths..
Toast to u from all the drinkers at IIM A.

Whoiscb said...

@Abid, Nissim , Sid, & Thoughtreaper : Thank you all :)

Sashank said...

hmmm interesting blog!!! Wondering what would be the fate of the poor fella who is going to ask u this DM question next time???? Hope I won't have to read it in paper.

Shagun said...

thoughts and more thoughts...
but DMs are not gonna refrain from DMism (for a lack of better word)...

but nice thoughts and succinctly expressed...
people should also realise the pressure that most students are under to actually match and exceed their potential when they come to such esteemed institutes, so non-realisation of goals is a big problem and a touchy issue in these times...

Venkatram said...

Excellent Post..!! But I would have liked it more if the context of this blog was extended from MBAs in IIMs to any other higher studies.!!

Just my thoughts.!

Anyway, nice post.!

John Locke said...

Obviously u seem really upset...Dude let me tell u one thing ...u have talked about sachin and kalam and these ppl have suffered a lot and ppl have asked them thousands of "DM" questions, but they did not write a blog or something to show their anger... u must have observed that the most brilliant of ur batchmate never creates an air around him and never bothers to write a blog or set gtalk status msg to show his frustration or to show his achievements...if u believe in urself, have confidence in urself and don't let frustration find its way to internet...Remember one thing: " Winners are too busy to get angry"

Whoiscb said...

@shashank, Shagun and venkatram : thanks a lot

@John Locke - whoever the "Lost" fan you are (obviously you chose to hide your name and you do know me personally as you seem to have seen my blog in my Gtalk status) :

Point Taken. I did not write this post to show that I am a big shot or something. Me and my teammate were continuously asked this question for sometime, and we just wanted to write a fun post on how we felt. Seems like the post has come out as if I am very angry and all that...but in reality it was meant to be to make certain things clear to people who seem to pop awkward questions without concern for the person who gets the question.

Nevertheless, what you say is true. Sachin, Kalam et all do not bitch about the DM questions. However, I think you got me wrong there. I dare not compare myself to them. They are all immortals. I am but a mere human. All I said was IIM as an institution is comparable to those greats. An IIM never bitches that IIPM or other institutes are useless :) fact it hardly does any complaining even though the papers repeatedly run all sorts of sad stories about them the moment there is a recession and placements are hit.

About your point of me not expressing my anguish on the internet, well...this is my choice. In case you missed it, this blog is mine and the last time I checked, freedom of expression was still valid in India. And if you missed it, the blog is titled "As I Like It". And whether or not I will be a winner...well :)...depends on your definition of a winner. I think I already am one.

John Locke said...

Hey don't take it personally..It was just an advice to an IIM graduate to not to get upset with such questions as ppl will always try their level best to let u down in some way to justify their failure. The term "Winner" is a relative one, as an IIM graduate may seem as a winner to IIPM graduate and but a looser to a Harvard graduate. I guess the pedigree doesn't matter, its the individual caliber that should be appreciated. One should see "Himself= Me - my degree".

PS: I don't know u personally and I m indeed a " Lost" fan :P. Nice to exchange ideas with u

Almighty said...

cant help it....have to ask...Dude! What is your salary? :P :D

Whoiscb said...

@Almighty : Hahaha :)...

@John Locke :
You have written 2 contradictory statements when you say

"The term "Winner" is a relative one, as an IIM graduate may seem as a winner to IIPM graduate and but a looser to a Harvard graduate. I guess the pedigree doesn't matter, its the individual caliber that should be appreciated. One should see "Himself= Me - my degree".

Your first line suggests that the term winner is actually relative and that it depends on which institute you are from while your subsequent line says "Himself = Me - my degree" which would mean that one should neglect the degree etc and talk in an absolute sense. I am not sure which of these it is that you believe.

In any case,

Your reply seems to suggest, that I think I am a winner "because" I am from IIM, and with that wrong assumption you go on to compare a Harvard and an IIM and say some extra stuff.

Let me make one thing very clear,

I think I am a winner for a lot of reasons - none of which includes my degree in any manner whatsoever.

Anyways, thank you for your advice - though I again reiterate that the post did not come out because I was upset (I defnintely was...but that was not the point behind writing it).

It came out as a "please think before you speak" warning to DM idiots.

As always, I am open to comments and criticism. You have indeed mentioned some very valid stuff.

John Locke said...

yes indeed our society has a mindset up related to degrees. An IIT degree=15-20 Lacks and an IIM degree as u say in crores. This is very unfortunate as students choose their career according to this equation and this results in producing non-productive engineers/scientists and managers.

See the problem is not that this conception is within the elderly ppl or older generation. It is well entrenched within us also. U may have seen ppl clearing tough exams and entering IITs/IIMs and then they loose their interest from the first day onward.

If ppl who come to these elite institutes are genuinely motivated and not just they have come by following the above equation, they will not get upset by such "DM" questions.

PS: I m not judging u as a winner or looser.

Whoiscb said...

@John -

I am not so sure of "If ppl who come to these elite institutes are genuinely motivated and not just they have come by following the above equation, they will not get upset by such "DM" questions.

I think you make a sweeping generalization. Any normal human will get irritated when people ask stupid DM questions - I cannot think of anyone but Swami Vivekananda and the likes, who do not get affected by such questions.

More so, when the person asking this question is doing so out of a sadistic intention.

All your talk of the "ideal" human who always is steadfast and does not bother about comments :)...sorry to say, I dont buy it and I think you are taking it a bit far.

Secondly, the problem with Indians is that we generally do not voice our opinions strongly for fear of being reprimanded. We are always docile. Be it any issue. We think 1000 times before we say "No, I do not think that is correct"

If you ask me to tolerate the people who are popping the DM question, then you got the wrong guy. When I see something wrong, I question it. Simple. The person popping the DM question was being very insensitive according to me. Also the question had a wrong motive. So I pointed it out.

If you ask me not to get bothered by such things as Madhu had also pointed out earlier - then I will acccept what you say and thank you.

The idea behind a blog is really a peoples opinion of the things they see around the world. It is nothing but the way they experience the world. If we do not voice our opinions against people doing some nonsense in and around the society - then what is the point of having the ability to do so?

John Locke said...

My comments seems to bother u a bit brother. I don't want to disturb u... I wish u a very best in ur career ahead.

Regards from John Locke

Whoiscb said...

@John - thanks and wish you all the very best too :)

susha said...

I so agree.. I was so angry with all the relative's asking about my salary..and people commenting about how IIM Grads have been shown their position..

Anonymous said...

Must Read.....I Njoyed it.

abi said...

Exactly my thoughts dude. Exactly my thoughts..Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Though my comment is gonna b out of topic I always thought of expressing this in a blog which have some IIM graduates ..... so to all IIM supporters ...... I dunno why ta hell tat people in India had created a crazy myth tat IIM graduates r world class brilliant people .... n now ta myth is slowly becoming International... IIM had always thought of injecting new rules to their academic agenda just to get a place in Financial Times n now they got it ..... I strongly object this bcos I got graduated with my masters degree from top B'schools in UK and from one more European country with high level of international business education ..... both r pretty traditional on their business teachings for hundreds of years..... though I am an Indian I don't like ta way how ta IIMs works n how they create hype to make ta world look at their graduates ...... so if an IIM graduate thinks tat they r far better than us by just reading only ta books on International Business than who r v guys who had completed our Masters degree in different countries with 200% internationalised atmosphere from ta books,classmates, business visits across ta globe .... IIMs say its very challenging to work in groups in their class since people come from different states of India .. Then think about working in groups to complete ur degree with people from round ta globe with different cultures n ethnicity....n who have their own pride towards their we had tackled far better situations to complete our course ...... so my dear IIM graduates stop boasting yourself n cool down..... u guys got this position just bcos of ta IIM's promoting strategy of their school towards ta world n not like v guys who learnt business which comes from different parts of ta world everyday .... sorry if I had made anyone to feel bad...just wanna share ta remind IIM graduates they have a long way to attain ta real pride which they think they already have!!!!!

Anonymous said...

@whoiscb you are a total useless fucking piece of shit....u dumb fcking moron whats wrong if some one asks you what school did u go to and how much u make...?u are one looser ...fck u!

Quest4BestMBA said...

Anonymous is a liar. In no IIM do you see people from different states finding it hard to make and perform in groups. That is a black lie. And Anonymous has only one motive: Hide behind his anonymity and fling mud at a brand that he coveted and could not have it. His style of writing and articulation betrays an immaturity that you do not see in people from top colleges. Dear Anon. Grow up

Anonymous said...

Athellam seri pa, neenga evlo thaan sambalam vanguvinga??