Mega Serial Paapengala?

Ever been a victim of Mega Serials? Your mom watches 'Selvi'? Your dad watches 'Kolangal'? Your grandma just cannot stop discussing 'Chitti'? Your grandpa has put on his speaker phones and can't hear what you are trying to tell him?

And does this happen from 7.30 in the evening to 10 PM in the night, and includes 11.30 in the morning to 2PM in the afternoon

Does your mom spend half an hour over the phone discussing all the episodes she missed with your aunt when all it takes for you to gather what has happened thus far in the story is to just watch the next episode.

Welcome to the club.

If you want to be a mega-serial director all you have to do is to follow the Algorithm:

1) Take a Central Character. (Preferably a female who is between 25-40 years of age).

2) The Central Character of your story faces all kinds of hardships, which belong to the following group:

a) A wicked mother in law who wants nothing but money.
b) A dad who has a secret affair and has had more kids than you know of
(And thereby you have more brothers and sisters than you realise)
c) The central character should face difficulty in Business. All kinds!

3) Atleast 3-4 male characters must cheat on their wives of which even though the wives know of this affair they donot tell it out (because then a Mega - Serial ends, and becomes a Mini Serial)

4) Follow the following nature table :

Read : Character is a ; Age Group ; Behaves like:

a) Female ; 0-16 ; A lovable child who is the apple of the eye of the central character.


16-25 Sister/Half sister/Cousin of central character who loves a boy from some other caste/religion/economic status. Preferably from the enemy family.

25-45 Preferable for the Central Character. Also for Villains. Villains in this category are preferably relatives or half-sister/brother or are brothers/sisters of the central characters spouse who want all the "Soththu" (wealth) or are ex-wives or ex-lovers of central character.
Or last but not least, villains who have been affected by some imaginary deed which central characters dad/mom had done some million years ago.

45-65 Hopeless category for females. Invariably all the females except if you happen to
be the central character (believe me you dont want to choose your central character in this age
group), are jack asses. They are either cruel mother in laws or whining mothers or ex'es
of the central characters dad.

65 + Included in the story just so that they may die when an opportune moment occurs.
Most suited to give good advice to everybody in the story.

b) Male 0-16 A guy who sees a lot of violence in the family and either turns into a villain
or the hero later on

16-25 Brother/Half brother/Cousin of central character who loves a girl from some other
caste/religion/economic status. Preferably from the enemy family.

25-45 Invariably cheats on his wife (if he is not the central character) Has a lot of skeletons in his closet which are not dug out until the very last episode (which is not soon) Preferable for the central character. Sometimes useful as the central "female" characters "good friend" who stands by her during all odds, only to be suspected by the central characters jerk of a husband.

45-65 Hopeless category for men as well. You are either a father in law who cannot control his
wife any longer or are a "dhanda soru" in the family. Jalras are also useful in this category.
Nosy people often fall in this category.

65+ Well, you too are included so you may die when needed the most. Mostly a diabetes patient or rheumatic. Loves the grandchildren and purchases an eclairs chocolate for them with whatever little money he has.

5) Once you decide on the nature table you have to do this:

a) Perform 4-5 marriages. That way, you can get atleast 40-50 episodes in easily (2-3 episodes for preparing for the nichyadhartham, 2-3 for purchases for marriage, 2-3 for marriage itself and 2-3 for post marriage fights/bonding/mother in law sentiments etc).

b) Villain Scores: Throw in a dozen episodes for the villain to win over the central
character in business (such as a court case....believe me court case is the best thing you can bring into your story....not only are you guaranteed of 20 odd episodes, but also it grabs the attention of the audience like no other, and believe me, audience knows nothing about the
judiciary...so you can crap all you want here and noone will notice).

c) 3-4 deaths (all 65+ characters were included in the first place for this)

i) This gives you a preparation for death episode - hospital scenes,
wealth fight scenes,sentiment scenes etc....thereby 3-4 episodes per
death

ii) Post Death wealth fights can run for 3-4 episodes or more
depending on if they turn into court cases

d) A Plot. Ok....Its not that difficult as it seems. The plot is nothing but letting people know who cheated their wives, who did not and who planted a bomb in the factory of the central character etc. It does not have to be anything ingenious...it just should not be ingenuous.

e) Sentiments. This is very important. In fact, the more you pour into this area, the more you win. Father-in-law to daughter-in-law sentiments. Thaali sentiments. Brother Sister entiments. Husband and wife sentiments. These are most vital. Make sure this is there in all the families that are portrayed.

f) Slow motion and background music : Utterly essential. Your script writer has not written the next episode and you dont know what to telecast? Make one episode into two by making it run in slow motion. Noone will notice as long as the slow motion has background music attached to it.

Very very useful when Central Character delivers Punch Dialogues and walks away

g) The central character suffers throughout the story. This is central. This
is utterly essential. If the central character is happy then it means the serial is over. This is like cricket. Though India keeps losing in cricket people watch it play in the hope that it will win some day. Finally when it wins, it gathers so much support as it never has before.

6) Catch an ex heroine (one who has been in movies in the past) to act as your central character. Somehow familiarity seems to breed viewership.

"Oh yeah, there is that heroine I used to like when I was an adolescent...good thing now I get to see her again. So what if she is old...I am old too"

7) Lastly, the secret formula for a mega serial. Make it last 250 episodes atleast. The longer it runs the better.But 250 episodes is a bare minimum. IF that is not the case, then you ought to be ashamed of your serial.

P.S : A tip to take the cheapest mega serial. Put cameras in the houses of 10-15 families, and telecast the same. But make sure you add in the masala somewhere as sentiments and other stuff rarely happen in real life.