Meaning of Life, Universe and Everything

After being stuck with work for 8 hours (as mentioned in the article below), I decided to unwind.

The following kottal conversation took place between me and my master Rodulus Lordulus (circa 1981-...). Woodworm is at one of his hilarious best. Gets better as it progresses.

Rating : Adults only please. Not for the weak minded.

me: nandu
ennada busya
Rodulus Lordulus: solda
me: nothiing
me gaja vetti
so thought of bugging u
Rodulus Lordulus: hmm
me not vetti - but need to start work
me: hmm
machi what is the meaning of life da
Rodulus Lordulus: 42
me: why is it not 53?
Rodulus Lordulus: in a different number system. yes
me: no in decimal system why is it not 53
Rodulus Lordulus: wait wait - the meaning of life universe and everything is 42
so meaning of life = 42 - meaning (universe) - meaning (everything)
me: what is meaning(universe) and meaning(everything)
Rodulus Lordulus: meaning (universe) is being solved by string theory - we expect an answer in 2 years
meaning (everything) is "all the things"
since advaita says all things are one
me: but how will I subtract "all the things" from 42
Rodulus Lordulus: so meaning (everything) = 1
me: aaaah
so it is 42 - some answer I will get in 2 years - 1
Rodulus Lordulus: so we have 41 - meaning (universe)
so wait for string theory equations. solve for the equation u have the answer
me: what if string theory is proved wrong in the meantime?
Rodulus Lordulus: then u need to go back and frame a new theory
me: which is?
Rodulus Lordulus: The Rodulus Lordulus theory
me: which states
Rodulus Lordulus: who says universe outside = the universe inside you
so find the universe inside you
me: but universe outside is so big, and inside me is just my baniyan jetti and a few organs
how can they be same
the theory seems flawed
Rodulus Lordulus: no theory is flawed just because it seems unbelievable
me: prove the theory
Rodulus Lordulus: ok - according to hindu ancient mythology, which is the axiom for our understanding
universe is a fractal
which is empirically observed
so any small fraction of the universe resembles the whole
me: (groping for a dictionary...go on)
Rodulus Lordulus: so i choose one fraction - myself
and see the universe in me
me: but then that would mean that you and a donkey are same right?
Rodulus Lordulus: no the universe inside a donkey = universe inside me
if you put the outer covering of man and donkey on both sides of the equation
the equation is unbalanced

me: so basically you eat what a donkey eats..is that it?
Rodulus Lordulus: again - what you eat is irrelevant to the universe
me: what then o master balances the equation
Rodulus Lordulus: the balance is in you
you are your way the truth and the goal
see - this is how u become a guru
me: soI am the truth and I am the goal
then why are you not coming to me?
Rodulus Lordulus: yeah so do a penalty kick
thats because i am in the opposite goal
me: ok so let me summarize
the meaning of life is 41 - meaning(universe)
Rodulus Lordulus: yeah
me: and the meaning(universe) is myself
and i need to kick a football onto me
Rodulus Lordulus: no - wait
that needs to be proven
me: so it is 41 - football kick (yet to be proven)
Rodulus Lordulus: it could happen that you are your own football as well
so the moment you kick the ball, you could find a sharp pain in your butt
so people dont want to test it on themselves a lot
me: oh is that why there are so many ignorant souls?
Rodulus Lordulus: exactly!!!!!
ignorance is saving pain in the butt
or ignorace is a state of mankind where you dont take a call on the probability of having a pain in the butt
me: that clears so much...
what then is the purpose of life master?
Rodulus Lordulus: the purpose of life is to find if there is a butt to be pained
and then finding if there is a football
and then if both exists, if football = butt
and then having satisfied yourself, kicking the ball into the goal
and then seeing if the goal is the universe
me: so man keeps roaming to find the ball and the butt
Rodulus Lordulus: and then noting it in the scorecard and switch off the TV
me: which is essentially his purpose
Rodulus Lordulus: yeah exactly
which is why sometimes people get bewildered and say "Balls"
me: what did people way back in history do when there was no football
Rodulus Lordulus: which shows that there are too many balls in sight
every man is reminded of his balls
that is why god gave him two
he also gave him foot
me: master is it not vulgar to speak such words in front of a disciple
Rodulus Lordulus: it took mankind 10 million years to find out that he can actually kick an artifical ball - rather than his own thereby causing terrible pain
you are your own vulgarity
me: so to sum up the second part
man used to kick his balls till he found a football
but then the football = butt
Rodulus Lordulus: exactly
me: and he has to kick his butt instead with a footbal
which is his goal and this helps him uncover the purpose, meaning of life universe and everything subject to the Rodulus theory being proven right
Rodulus Lordulus: yeah

me: master why are you bothered about petty job when you are a self realized soul
Rodulus Lordulus: because self realization doesnt give bua (food)
u need bua also
me: then what does self realization give?
Rodulus Lordulus: one halo around your head
if there is a power cut in your home, you can use it

me: Thank you master, that will be all for today

Rodulus Lordulus: May the ball always be in your court